Finding community: Amara’s journey

I always had feelings for girls, I was fascinated by them, and felt some type of connection. But they had dreams of getting married and having children with men. I’ve never thought about having a relationship with a man. Like never ever.

First love

In school, I met this girl, she was called Laura. She was my first friend, and I enjoyed being around her. She was the closest friend I ever had. We were always together, having meals together, our beds were next to each other in the dormitory. She would wake me up in the morning in case I missed the bell, and then we would get ready together.

We were friends, but I knew in my heart I loved her. She was beautiful. I loved her so much but I didn’t know what she was thinking. I wasn’t going to tell her “I love you” because I didn’t know how she would process it.

Eventually, she started to come into my bed in the night. At first, she said it was because she was scared of something. In the school rules, sharing beds was strictly forbidden. But we were doing it at night so no one could see. Well, we thought no one could see. During that time, our feelings got a bit intense. The intimacy was a lot to process. One time, she kissed me. I was happy, but also confused. I could not stop thinking about it, but had no idea what to do.

Discovered

We were discovered by the school matron – she found us together in the dormitory. She asked me: “Who is Laura to you? Why have you been sleeping with her on the same bed?” I said she was just a friend but it was crazy. She started beating me with a stick. Then Laura was called, and they beat her too. It caused a commotion around the school because the punishment was so severe. I cried a lot; I yelled at the beating.

After people found out, they started gossiping about us, and then they isolated us. Then, the school held an assembly and called me and Laura to the front, made us kneel down, and the headmistress berated us in front of the whole school. She was pushing our heads down and she was saying: “so what did you guys do? How long have you guys been in a relationship? Do you think you and Laura can be together; how does it make sense to you?”

The wrath of my mother

Both our parents were called: my mother did not even listen to me, she just started punishing me. She hit me all over with her shoe until I was bruised and bleeding. I was suspended from school; when I returned, I was not allowed to attend lessons. I was made to wear a sack that said ‘shame on this girl’ on it; and made to work in the gardens every day. No one in the school would speak to me. Laura’s parents put her in another school.

Even when I moved schools this story followed me. If I made a new friend, they would find out and would drop me. I have no friendships from my school years. My mother resented paying for me to continue in school, but I kept applying for and securing scholarships and moving to new schools. In 2020, Laura and I were again at the same school.  

We did talk about what happened back then. We became friends, but we were careful not to pursue a romantic relationship because we were afraid of experiencing the same treatment we had experienced before. But then COVID happened, and we were apart. When it was time for me to go to university, my mother did not want to pay – her plan was to marry me to a man and get rid of me. But I had been applying for scholarships and secured one with an allowance and somewhere to stay.

University and losing my friends

In 2023, when we were both at university, Laura and I became a couple again. We kept our relationship private because we were afraid of the consequences if people discovered it. We would spend time together and with our friend Jeremy, who was gay and out and proud about it. He did not care about what people said about him. He was found dead in January 2025 – they found his body in his room. I think he may have been killed because of his sexuality, but I do not really know exactly what happened to him.

After Jeremy’s death, everything was complicated. I told Laura about Jeremy, and she vanished from my life. I don’t know where she is or why she disappeared. Maybe Jeremy’s death scared her. It scared me too. After Jeremy’s death, I received threatening messages from unknown numbers. The messages said that they would come for me next and that Jeremy deserved to die because he wanted to be with men. These threats frightened me and contributed to my decision to seek a safer place to live. I started to look at trying to leave Uganda.

I found a one year long volunteering opportunity with a Christian community in the UK, applied and got it – this was my chance to go somewhere safer, and get away from my family. When I told my mother that I was going to the UK, she didn’t even react. She was totally uninterested, she did not even take me to the airport. I arrived in the UK in September 2025.

A new community in the UK

I was enjoying being in the UK, feeling freer, but because I was in a religious community I still didn’t feel like I could be fully truthful about myself. I also made the decision to tell my mother that I was a lesbian. I wrote this very long message. I told her: so this is who I am, and I feel more comfortable as myself here in the UK. And she didn’t reply at all for about a day. After that, the fire came. She says “you are a disgrace, I hate you. I will kill you the moment I see you again. I am not your mom from now on”. At this point I knew that I would not be safe going back to Uganda.

Leaving one community and finding another

I started doing some research into my options, about applying for asylum and what organisations might be able to help me. I first contacted Micro Rainbow in January 2026, after coming out to my mother. I applied for asylum in April 2026, and reached out to Micro Rainbow again; they connected me with an Outreach Officer. My Outreach Officer advocated for me to move to Micro Rainbow’s safe housing in June 2026. I moved in with a lesbian couple from Colombia, and they made me feel so welcome. They were so nice, preparing food for me and really taking care of me. They were the best people I have met since coming to the UK.

Since contacting Micro Rainbow I have been able to attend online Sista Sista events, but now I am in the London safe house I have been able to attend in-person events too. At these events, I feel so good. I love the energy, it makes me happy and I feel like I am finally in the right place. I am taking part in the theatre project – I love it so much. I have spoken about my own story in the theatre project and it’s going to form a key part of the performance.

It’s not been an easy journey for me. Sometimes the depression comes back, but for the most part I am loving life now. I am happy and so grateful for everything. If I could tell my younger self, that person who was treated so badly, one thing I would say: “be strong, resilient and consistent. Right now things are tough, but everything is going to fall into place eventually and you should not worry too much about what the world thinks of you”