National Coming Out Day has been held annually on October 11th since 1988. Its aim is to offer support and recognition to people who are in the process of “coming out” about their sexual orientation or gender identity. The awareness day was inspired by the feminist and gay liberation movements, which stressed that the personal is political. National Coming Out Day highlights the significance of the simplest form of activism: openly sharing one’s LGBTQI identity with family, friends, and colleagues and living authentically as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person.
National Coming Out Day recognises that the coming out process is deeply personal and varies for every person. For the LGBTQI people fleeing persecution that Micro Rainbow works with, ‘coming out’ can take on a profound dimension. It’s still illegal to be LGBTQI in over 60 countries around the world. In many more countries, it’s not illegal to be gay, but LGBTQI people still face significant persecution, exclusion from society and live with the everyday risk of violence.
Coming out – or being outed
For people from countries where being LGBTQI is illegal or where LGBTQI people are persecuted, coming out – or being outed – can be a matter of life or death. The refugees and asylum seekers that Micro Rainbow works with and who live in our housing didn’t have the option of ‘coming out’. When they lived in their home countries, they had to keep their sexuality hidden. Many lived in constant fear of being ‘outed’ and the consequences they would face as a result.
Bianca is a trans woman from Guyana, where LGBTQI people are criminalised. When she came out, she was disowned by everyone apart from her mother. From that point on, she was in constant danger:
“During my life in Guyana, I was constantly harassed for being LGBTQI. I was beaten many times. I always had to watch my back, and I was even once stabbed in the back as I was walking along the road. It is impossible to live openly and safely in that country.”
After Bianca’s mother died, she knew there was nothing left for her in Guyana. She made the decision to flee the country to try and find safety and happiness.
Fear of being outed
Queen is a lesbian from Nigeria, where LGBTQI people can face imprisonment and capital punishment. Her cousin found out she was a lesbian and would threaten to report her to the police:
“She would say “I know you’re a lesbian, you will go to hell”. From then on, every time we had a fight – which was often – she would bring this up and threaten to report me to the police. She told a couple of people, and they would message me harassing me. I would be harassed in public as well, and it got to the point that I couldn’t bear to leave the house. I just couldn’t deal with the abuse and not living my true authentic self.”
She’s now in the UK and rebuilding her life, living openly as a lesbian:
“I don’t think I’m going to ever have a coming out story because I don’t see straight people saying: “oh hi everyone, I’m straight”, but here I am out and proud in a way I could not be in Nigeria.”
John is a gay man from Zimbabwe where same sex sexual activity is illegal. Local police became aware of his sexuality, and a warrant was issued for his arrest. There was no option for him but to leave:
“I fled because I was scared for my life and the possibility of being imprisoned for up to 10 years in jail. [With the] current state of things [in Zimbabwe] you won’t probably be able to live up to 10 years in jail as a gay man. The moment other humans know that that’s who you are, you will be liable to abuse and things like that. You will be a target, so it’s quite difficult.”
After managing to reach the UK, John lived in Micro Rainbow safe housing, where he found the safety and security he needed to start rebuilding his life.
Coming out to save your life
For some LGBTQI asylum seekers, many of whom have spent their whole lives hiding themselves and any evidence of their LGBTQI identity, the first time they ‘come out’ can be the day they claim asylum. That interview with a Home Office official could be the very first time that they say the words: “I am gay” out loud.
It takes an incredible amount of courage to leave everything and everyone you know to fight for your right to live authentically. Coming out is an act of resilience and defiance. Over the years, National Coming Out Day has evolved into a global phenomenon, transcending borders and cultures. It has become a day when LGBTQI individuals, celebrities, and allies take to social media, hold events, and engage in open conversations about the significance of coming out. Increased visibility is a powerful tool for breaking down barriers. This National Coming Out Day, we are honouring the brave people for whom coming out is an act of survival.
National Coming Out Day has been held annually on October 11th since 1988. Its aim is to offer support and recognition to people who are in the process of “coming out” about their sexual orientation or gender identity. The awareness day was inspired by the feminist and gay liberation movements, which stressed that the personal is political. National Coming Out Day highlights the significance of the simplest form of activism: openly sharing one’s LGBTQI identity with family, friends, and colleagues and living authentically as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person.
National Coming Out Day recognises that the coming out process is deeply personal and varies for every person. Some individuals come out to close friends and family, while others choose a more public declaration. For the LGBTQI refugees and asylum seekers that Micro Rainbow works with, ‘coming out’ can take on a profound dimension. It’s illegal to be LGBTQI in over 60 countries around the world. In many more countries, it’s not illegal to be gay, but LGBTQI people still face significant persecution, exclusion from society and live with the everyday risk of violence.
Coming out – or being outed
If you are from one of the 60 plus countries where being LGBTQI is illegal, coming out – or being outed – can be a matter of life or death. The refugees and asylum seekers that Micro Rainbow works with and who live in our housing frequently don’t have the option of ‘coming out’. When they lived in their home countries, they had to keep their sexuality hidden. For many, they lived in constant fear of being ‘outed’.
Eric is Congolese, and fled to the UK after his living situation became untenable. He was outed to his family:
“My uncle was high up in the government – a figure of respectability and influence in our society. He told me that I had been outed; someone had informed my family that I was gay. My uncle made it clear that he could not have a gay man in his family. He then gave me an ultimatum: find a wife within six months or go to prison”.
Eric’s uncle’s government position mean that it wasn’t an empty threat. Eric knew he could no longer live safely in the DRC. “I knew then that if I stayed, I would either end up killing myself, or I would be killed”.
Living under suspicion
Oftentimes, people who have escaped to the UK to find safety haven’t ‘come out’ or been outed. But sometimes community suspicion is enough to make their lives unliveable. Angela is from St Lucia and identifies as a lesbian. In St Lucia homosexuality is illegal and carries a penalty of up to 10 years imprisonment.
In St Lucia, Angela kept her sexuality secret, but was accused on many occasions of being a lesbian. She faced insults, abuse, and multiple rapes by men in her community who believed their actions would ‘cure’ her. Eventually, she fled to the UK to try and find safety, but even then, she kept her LGBTQI identity hidden because her years of trauma and abuse lead to her believing she was responsible for her ordeal.
Coming out to save your life
For some LGBTQI asylum seekers, many of whom have spent their whole lives hiding themselves and any evidence of their LGBTQI identity, the first time they ‘come out’ can be the day they claim asylum. That interview with a Home Office official could be the very first time that they say the words: “I am gay” out loud.
It takes an incredible amount of courage to leave everything and everyone you know to fight for your right to live authentically. Coming out is an act of resilience and defiance. Over the years, National Coming Out Day has evolved into a global phenomenon, transcending borders and cultures. It has become a day when LGBTQI individuals, celebrities, and allies take to social media, hold events, and engage in open conversations about the significance of coming out. Increased visibility is a powerful tool for breaking down barriers. This National Coming Out Day, we are honouring the brave people whose coming out is an act of survival.
